My Bleeding Angel
by Falling Like An Angel
Summary: Songfic based on "Lucy" by Skillet. Deathfic. A mission goes wrong and some things can't be undone. Nalu Rated M for some violence All credit to Hiro Mashima, his beautiful characters and world. It's my first fic so all reviews and comments are appreciated :)


Blood. There was so much blood. I was desperately pressing my vest to her stomach, trying to stem the flow. Her eyes gazed up at me, they had an empty look in them. "Stay with me Luce, stay with me." I breathed, tears streaming down my face. "You're gonna be okay." I wasn't sure if I was trying to reassure her or myself. Suddenly I felt a light pressure on my hand. I looked down to see her hand covering mine.

"N-natsuu..." She was struggling so hard to get just the one word out, her breathing coming in short, shallow rasps. "Shhh…Don't, Lucy…" I said through my tears.

"It's…no…use….You have….to let me…go…" She managed to get out.

"No! No no no Lucy I am not letting you die!" I choked, shaking my head fervently.

"Nastu….." She said pleadingly. I looked down into her beautiful brown eyes, filled with unshed tears. "What is it Luce?" I asked softly.

"Kiss me." She demanded softly.

I leaned down, careful not to move her. I let my lips linger on hers, and then gently pulled away.

"Smile…for me….please" She asked.

I managed a watery smile for her. I could never refuse her anything.

She looked up at me, the pain in her eyes replaced with love, and a soft smile graced her bruised, but undeniably beautiful face. I gazed lovingly back at her, not even trying to stem the tears anymore. This gorgeous girl was worth crying for. She reached up, and placed her hand on my cheek, softly running her thumb over my bottom lip. Our eyes were locked as she whispered, "I love…you, Natsu, don't…ever forget…it." She smiled up at me like an angel as she took her last breath, and the light faded out of her eyes.

I threw my head back, rocking on my heels as I cradled her head in my lap. My sobs wracked my body and the tears streaming down my face were running everywhere, but I couldn't bring myself to care. All that mattered was that Lucy was gone, and I would never see her adorable smile or her blond hair shining in the sun as she ran towards me, I would never hear her say my name again, I would never….

Everything that was now torn from me seemed to bubble up from inside of me and I screamed to the heavens where Lucy now looked down on me. I couldn't control the sobs; I was lost in the agony. I could hear Erza crying hysterically in the background, and Juvia sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe on Gray's shoulder while the ice mage himself had silent tears pouring down his face, but all I could think about was Lucy. Lucy Lucy Lucy Lucy…..

I don't know how long I kneeled there, screaming out the pain, hoping to numb something, but there was no relief. Juvia's pain finally caught up with her and the clouds opened, pouring down on us, and still I sat there crying and holding Lucy.

I didn't move until Master arrived, and placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. I looked up, and then felt Lucy's weight being lifted off my lap. Elfman was now holding her, a numb look on his face, but I could see tear tracks on his cheeks. I stood, taking in the scene around me. Wendy had arrived, and was hugging Romeo, who was watching, desperately trying to hold back tears. Mira and Lisanna stood off to the side, both women crying, and next to them was Cana, a look of disbelief in her eyes. I didn't say anything to anyone, and turned, shrugging off the hand Gramps had placed on my shoulder. I started walking, not having a clue where I was going, I needed to get away. I walked numbly, following a path I guess I knew I would end up walking on.

I stopped when I reached my destination. Looking up through the rain, I stared at the window I always used to get yelled at for entering through. I took a step back, then a running jump forward and landed on the sill. I pushed open the window Lucy had long since stopped locking and climbed into the tiny apartment. I looked blindly around the room, before turning and falling onto the bed we shared most nights. I buried my face into her pillow and the tears came anew. God, it still smelled exactly like her.

I didn't move from her bed for several days. I couldn't bring my limbs to function.

The day of her funeral, I pushed myself off her bed and stumbled for the bathroom. I only showered because it was Lucy, and she deserved the best I could give. I walked back out into the room and opened the drawer of my clothes I had started keeping here because I usually couldn't stand leaving Lucy long enough to go home. I don't know what I pulled out, just that it was clean. It was only later, standing in front of her _casket_, God it hurt to even think that, when I realized I was wearing her favorite shirt for me to wear. _Fitting_, I thought. I didn't hear anything the minister said, I just looked blankly ahead. When it came time for me to speak, I walked to the front and scanned the crowd.

I didn't know where to the start, so I guess the beginning would do.

"When I met Lu…" I couldn't say it. I couldn't say her name. "When I met _her_, that day, over 10 years (if you included Tenrou), I knew she was something special. She talked with such passion about Fairy Tail, there was a light in her eyes, a spring in her step and a grace in everything she did. And throughout the years, none of that ever faltered. This beautiful, amazingly strong girl, who had lost so much, was still able to be happy about almost everything, and I think we all can agree that she was one of the strongest members of this guild." All of the heads in the crowd nodded somberly at that. "She brightened everyone's day, and she cared so much about everyone. All she wanted was to be able to keep us all safe. And we _love_ her for it. I'm sure even now, she's smiling down on us from above, and protecting everyone like the angel she is." I finished, choking up. I couldn't go on. The tears that had been building up fell free and I ran. I couldn't face everyone right now. I ran back to Lucy's apartment, and there I stayed.

Five months. I couldn't believe that it had been five whole months since…since _it_ happened. Sure, the loss hit everyone in the guild extremely hard. But no one could deny I was the biggest wreck. I barely went to the guild anymore, Happy rarely checked in on me, he knew I couldn't talk about it, he just made sure I was still breathing. Most of the time I laid on her bed, staring at the ceiling we used to look at when we couldn't sleep, and we'd just talk for hours. I barely slept; I preferred to spend my nights watching the stars she loved so much. I don't know what it was about that particular evening, but I felt compelled to move, to get out. I jumped from the window, landing non to gently on the ground.

I began walking, stopping when I saw a flower cart. The little old lady behind it was selling pink roses, Lucy's favorite. I bought a dozen without hesitation. When I reached my destination I paused for a moment, looking at the headstone.

_Lucy Heartfilia_

_July 1__st__ X767 – June 16__th__ X792_

_A celestial wizard, a beloved daughter, and a loving friend_

_Here lies a true fairy_

I walked over to the grave, and knelt down, brushing the fallen leaves away. I placed the bouquet at the base of the headstone. On an impulse, I sat down, leaning against the hard marble, and began to talk.

"I miss you. So much. I'm so lost without you. You were my other half." I started, misery in my voice. "You were my rock, my light and my best friend. You kept me going when I couldn't. You were my reason to fight. And now you're gone. What do I have now? Sure, I have the guild, but they're nothing like you." My voice caught on the last word. Tears started to prick my eyes. "God, it's all my fault, you know? If I had been faster, had paid more attention, that guy would never have gotten close to you." I could almost hear her in my head saying '_You idiot, it's not your fault.'_ She wouldn't blame me. I did. "I was supposed to protect you. And I failed." I buried my head in my hands, grabbing at my hair. "Come back to me…"

From that day, I visited her grave to talk to her a couple times a week.

On July 1st, I brought a cupcake and a candle. I sat against the stone, and lit the candle with my finger. "I remembered your birthday." I whispered softly. "I can't believe it been over a year. I'm a mess; I can't do this much longer." I sighed, knowing I had been getting worse and worse. Well when you lose your reason for living, that happens. "You know, everyone says it'll bring closure to say your name." I might as well try it.

"Happy Birthday to you" I sang out. "Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Lu….." I choked on her name. I just couldn't say it. "Happy Birthday to you." I ended, and blew out the candle. I set the cupcake down and let myself cry my heart out.

I had stopped going to the guild altogether, even Happy stopped checking on me. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, there was no release from this torture. I was tearing at my hair, pacing around her apartment nonstop. All I could do was think. Think about the life we'd dreamed of. One where I proposed and we had a huge guild wedding. One where we built a family and a house together. One where we grew old together and spent our days spoiling our grandchildren. That life would never be anything more than dreams now.

I'd give anything to see her smile again. Anything to hear her call my name. Anything to feel her in my arms. I just want to hold her.

I think I knew all along. I think my heart knew and my head didn't want to accept it. I knew now, the only way I could ever be happy again was when I finally joined her. And I was fading fast. Fading out, fading closer to her.

A month later, I faded completely. All I could see was light, when suddenly, she was there. She was smiling and blonde and beautiful. She reached her hand down to me, and I took it without hesitation. At last my angel had come for me. She pulled me into a tight embrace, and I breathed in her smell. It was like that past year and a half never happened. She pulled back and smiled brilliantly at me.

"Natsu. You kept me waiting." She said with a smile.

"My deepest apologies miss." I answered with a grin.

She slide her hand down my arm and linked her fingers through mine. "This way silly." She said, lightly tugging on my arm, pulling towards the light.

I turned and together we started walking. The light was getting brighter and brighter still.

I lifted our joined hands to my lips, to place a kiss on the back of her hand.

"Lucy." I said euphorically.

And we walked into the light together, never looking back, for my angel had brought me home.


End file.
